You Know You're an EM/Peds Resident

1. You have figured out there are 20 months in the year, giving you oodles of free time.
2. You are connoisseur of language - toothless jargon at all ages is as understandable as teen slang or “drunk speak.”
3. You are just as comfortable giving 5 liters of fluid to a trauma patient as giving a 40 mL bolus to a preemie.
4. You are certain that adults are children who have maxed out their mg/kg dosing.
5. You are as up to date on cartoons as soap operas.
6. You love board exams so much you’d like to take two (and ten inservice exams)!
7. You are the only person in the room who adds pulmonary embolus to the differential diagnosis of hemoptysis in a 6 year old.
8. You think you are a "poop" expert.
9. You are proud of being at the top of the residency pay scale when you graduate.
10. You enjoy patients’ grandchildren as much as they do.
11. You occasionally forget and ask an adult when their last feed was.
12. You secretly check for a fetal four chambered heart, an intact spinal canal, and gastroschisis during your transvaginal US for preterm bleeding.
13. Not only do you ask the parents of febrile infants whether they are up to date on immunizations, but you can tell them the catch up schedule.
14. You don’t worry about the resuscitation rooms having a Broselow tape:  you carry a laminated one in your wallet.